Sometimes we know we’re not okay long before we understand why.
We’re irritated. Exhausted. Distracted. Anxious. Maybe we’re procrastinating, snapping at people, overworking, shutting down, or feeling like everything is just a little harder than it should be.
It’s easy to focus on the behavior or emotion and wonder:
Why am I acting like this?
But another question we can learn to ask is:
What might I need right now?
Many of us don’t have much practice answering that question. We might recognize obvious needs like food, sleep, or safety, but our needs extend far beyond those.
We need connection. Belonging. Autonomy. Purpose. Rest. Play. Recognition. Boundaries. Stability. Creativity. Trust. And so much more.
When our needs are met, we might feel calm, connected, confident, hopeful, energized, or open. When they’re not, we might experience frustration, loneliness, anxiety, resentment, overwhelm, or sadness.
Dr. Amanda Weiss, Psy.D., often describes emotions and feelings as “reporters for the soul,” offering us clues about what we may be needing beneath the surface.
Our behaviors can give us clues too. Avoiding, withdrawing, people pleasing, becoming reactive, overworking, or shutting down can sometimes be manifestations of an unmet need.
That’s an important connection to Survival Mode.
Instead of immediately judging ourselves for what we’re feeling or how we’re behaving, we can get curious about what’s happening underneath it.
Our free Needs Inventory Self-Assessment, developed in collaboration with Dr. Amanda Weiss, Psy.D., walks you through that process. You’ll identify three needs that feel most relevant in your life right now, explore how you feel and behave when those needs are met or unmet, and consider what actions you can take to better meet them.
Because sometimes moving from Survival Mode toward Compassion Mode begins with understanding something surprisingly simple: