We all have expectations.
We expect things from ourselves. From other people. From our relationships. From our work. From life.
I should be further along by now.
They should know what I need.
If I work hard enough, things should go according to plan.
I should be able to handle this on my own.
Most of the time, we don’t even realize we’re carrying these expectations until something doesn’t go the way we thought it would.
Then comes the frustration. Disappointment. Resentment. Judgment. Anxiety. Maybe even the urge to blame ourselves or someone else.
Expectations aren’t necessarily the problem. They’re a natural part of being human and can help us navigate the world. But they can also become a source of suffering when we become attached to outcomes outside our control.
That’s why expectations are an important part of how we think about moving from Survival Mode toward Compassion Mode.
We can care deeply. We can take action. We can hope for a particular outcome. And we can also practice noticing when our attachment to how something should turn out is creating more suffering for ourselves or others.
In fact, managing our expectations of the outcome is part of our compassion practice: noticing what we’re attached to and getting curious about whether that expectation is helping or hurting.
The tricky part is that many of our expectations operate quietly beneath the surface. They can come from our families, culture, workplaces, relationships, past experiences, and even pain or hardship.
Our free Expectations Inventory helps make some of those invisible expectations more visible. It invites you to explore what you’re expecting of yourself, others, and life, where those expectations came from, and whether they’re helping you live with greater compassion for yourself and others.
The goal isn’t to stop having expectations.
It’s to become more aware of the ones we’re carrying, especially when life doesn’t go according to plan.
And maybe to ask ourselves:
What am I attached to, and is it helping or hurting?